When couples decide to end their marriage, they have several options. Of these, the traditional litigated divorce is the least advantageous to the couple. It often results in fighting and bitterness, and the dissolution of a once-strong partnership into all but enmity. A mediated divorce, on the other hand, allows couples to maintain respect and partnership while making the best decisions for themselves and their family. Here are several ways you can ensure a successful divorce mediation process.
Divorce mediation is not about battling or combativeness. Itâ€™s quite the opposite â€” the process is about letting go of anger and bitterness and learning once more how to work together, even if itâ€™s one last time. When you discuss the division of assets, always observe the proper etiquette. Be polite, calm and level-headed. The more cordial you are, the better the outcome will be.
Be brutally honest during the process. This doesnâ€™t just mean with your former partner and the mediator, but with yourself. Remember that in many cases nobody is completely blameless. The more frank you can be about your situation, the better off youâ€™ll be. In fact, in most cases, you are not permitted to withhold information. Anything you hold back will only hurt.
When the other party in the proceedings makes an offer that you donâ€™t like, you can be tempted to become obstinate and stick to your guns no matter what. This is rarely the best means to get an acceptable outcome. Learn to pick your battles and see things from your former spouseâ€™s point of view. Be open minded about the process and understand that itâ€™s about negotiation and fairness, not getting everything you want.
Speaking of fairness, be fair in all your dealings. Start with a reasonable offer rather than an extreme one. Be open about what youâ€™d like to get out of the procedures, but also be willing to give a little. If your spouse makes a counteroffer that may not be exactly what you want but still seems legitimate, you should seriously consider it rather than dismissing it outright.
Every offer and counteroffer you make should have one single goal: to move the process forward. If you become too hard-headed or insistent, you could not only stall the proceedings, but end up going in reverse.
Remember, you are here to make the best decisions for both of you, and to keep your fate in your own hands rather than those of a stranger. At every step of the way, ask yourself if what you are about to say or do will have a positive and progressive result. If the answer is â€œno,â€ then reconsider your approach.
If you would like more information about what divorce mediation is, how it works and how it might help you, we are delighted to answer any questions you might have.Â